My name Muthuswamy Shivaraja Naidu, fondly called MSN by my friends. All those jokes about messenger, portals that just came up in your mind have already been done. I am quite a big hit among my friends, the typical dark, puny, spectacle clad south Indian boy who has never gone against his parents’ wishes, who is generally the butt of all jokes. For whom a nite of fun is several mocktails drunk slowly while seeing his friends get boisterous by the minute.
I have never had a girlfriend, because Amma doesn’t approve of one but do interact with girls. Most of them female colleagues who find me quite amusing and ofcourse being the s/w whiz that I am, every girl gets her extra work done by me. Like Sunny says I should probably learn to say no. The friend zone he says is the worst place to be in.
Sunny, you see is my best friend, we were roommates in Texas, where we had gone onsite and had to share the same house. I still remember Amma’s reaction when she heard that I was sharing my room with a non vegetarian. I forgot to tell her that he was about a spoon away from being an alcoholic and changed girls as frequently as one changed his socks. Many a girl would enjoy talking with me while Sunny would act very busy on his cellphone making imaginary calls to multi millionaire clients (How I wished the phone would ring in between his charade). The conversations began with How lucky they were that they had found him, moved on to disenchantment, disappointment, disillusionment, so on as the days progressed till a new one appeared, equally good looking, equally hot almost as if there was a bank of girls to which somehow we never were admitted.
Anyway this is my story, not sunny’s. I got up as usual on a bright Monday morning raring to go to work. I would have loved to do the testing on Sunday, but the new office policy prevented Sunday working. Today everything would fall in place. Hmm, concentrate man, I would have to start the prayer again. As a mark of respect to my parents I still applied the sandal paste on my forehead and neck, but it seemed to get smaller each day and of course the bus ride to SEEPZ would get most of it off. I looked around for Sunny and noticed he was missing. This meant that I would reach office on time.
I reached office and straightened all the things on my desk. I hate things out of place. Its not OCD, just that things must be properly placed. I notice that my keyboard has still not been changed. It’s been a month since I’ve complained about this thing. The enter key keeps getting stuck. Last week, Shilpa from the next cubicle found a scratch on her screen and was given a laptop from admin. Mine’s been in process since a year. Girls have all the fun.
Just then Shilpa knocks at my cubicle. ‘Hi MSN, Raju seems to have dropped your mail in my cubicle’
I gingerly take it from her hand, while she enjoys my discomfort. She’s the kind of girl who gets an outstanding appraisal just by flashing her dimples which she liberally does.
‘Wat’s it, Sandal paste again?’
Everyone still makes it a point to remind me of the Sandal paste, which Amma sent which I mistakenly dropped on my new khaki pants and that too before a client presentation. I give her a look which says buzz off. But she really has nothing to do today so she ignores me.
‘Aren’t you going to open it’
I know that she always gets her way, so I begin opening the letter as deliberately as I can.
‘Oh give it to me.’ Before I can protest she’s taken it and out pops a letter and a photograph. She turns the letter around twice and then hands it to me. It’s in Telugu, hurray :).
‘Who’s the chick, you sister? Some traditional day photo, huh?’
Frankly even I’m intrigued and begin reading the letter. It’s short and to the point. This is the girl my parents have chosen for me and they would like to schedule the engagement as soon as possible.
‘Hey ur sister looks cute, Seems like ur the black sheep. Hee hee’
Beautiful gurls generally have a very bad sense of humour. Defensively I blurt out the one sentence I shouldn’t have.
‘She’s my fiancée to be’
‘Fiancee, Hey guys listen MSN is getting married’
What ensues is people popping out of all the cubicles all around me. Productivity has gone for a toss. I am after all the project manager even if people never accept it. Leena, Shilpa’s best friend has already scanned the photo, blown it up and printed a copy and pasted it on the notice board. It’s already been mailed to everyone and the original picture full of thumb impressions is pinned onto my board, annoyingly no one seems to even attempt to do any work and the worst part is that I have yet to see the picture properly.
I finally gather courage and look at it. The girl is good looking in a very South Indian way and I really should be happy that such a girl has even consented to look at me but something is bugging me and I can’t put my finger on it.
Sunny meets me for lunch and does this hurt impression before embracing me in a hug that almost snaps my back. Everyone has got the news by now and there are congratulations all around.
I reach home a little late and find Sunny at home. He’s got nachos, popcorn, lays some sauce and a couple of beers in front of him, which means one thing some football match, since formula one is generally on Saturday or Sunday.
‘Pour me a glass’
Sunny looks at me. A glass of beer is a once in a year thing which signifies that I am very happy or very sad. He looks at me and pours out a glass from an already open bottle. Most of it will anyway go waste. He tries hard to concentrate on the pre-match talk for some time while I sit grimly sipping away my drink in a very hurt hindi film hero way. There is a break before the match and Sunny presses the mute button.
‘Wats buggin you?’
Silence
‘Cmon man, you are goin to tell me this and I’d rather not miss the match’
Silence even though I should be hurt at his insensitivity.
‘Tell me yaar. Some problem in testing?’
‘No’
‘Phir kya hai?’
‘It’s the engagement thing’
‘What engagement thing?’ and then seeing my face ‘ Arre kidding yaar, tujhe to khush hona chahiye’
And then the floodgates open. I finally seem to realize what’s bugging me. It’s the fact that my parents never even asked me about my choice and that’s not all. I love my mother but I really don’t want to marry someone like her. I’ve hardly heard my father speak in years and frankly will a typical south Indian female ever be part of my life. And even though I’m among the first to bitch about girls like Shilpa, I secretly am quite taken in with their independence.
‘So you have a crush on Shilpa’
I’m this close to emptying the bottle on his head
‘..and frankly she’s not your type. Hee Hee. Ok ok seriously yaar if it’s such a big prob just say no’
I have never said no to Amma for anything. Dad tried once and the hysterics ensued that no one would ever repeat it.
‘Achha chal show me her picture. I deleted the mail thinking it was just another prank’
‘Look at her Sunny, do you think she can fit in with my modern lifestyle, will she..’
‘Arre, this is Sue’
‘Who?’
‘Sue yaar. I met her in Pune, very cute, very saucy’
‘Did you?’
‘No yaar, she actually turned me down.’
Interesting, a girl who turned Mr. perfect down.
‘I think she’s in software or something’
‘Yup, Sulekha is a engineer’
‘Dude, I assure you, behind that 7 yards of silk is one very terrific gal’
‘Really’
‘Sacchi yaar, teri kasam’
‘Ok’
The next morning I phone Amma and tell her that I like the girl but since I could possibly be going onsite again I’d like to get the marriage over as soon as possible. Amma is most proud of me. Appa phones me later and asks me whether I would like to see the girl. I reply in the negative. What I don’t tell him that I’m secretly scared that going by my past interactions with females, she might reject me.
Sunny comes to see me off at the airport.
‘She’s in Wipro, I found out’
‘Ok’
‘MSN, you are one lucky guy, makes me wonder whether I should get married too’
‘You, marriage?’
‘Yaa man, chal got to go, will catch you later’
What happened in the ensuing 5 days was just a blur. The couple is not supposed to meet for a week before the marriage and she manages to put on a very demure look during all the ceremonies. I get a moment to catch her ear and whisper in spite of disapproving looks from all my aunts.
‘I know how you really are?’ which is what I end up saying.
She gives me a very puzzled smile but a smile nevertheless.
D day (actually N night) and I enter my room to find my very traditional, demure looking bride.
Frankly she is one amazing actress.
‘So when do we start living in Mumbai’
She looks up shyly and says ‘whenever you say?’
‘What about your job?’
‘What job?’
‘The one at Pune’
‘I haven’t started working, I just completed my engineering last month’
‘Cmon I know you work in Pune, My friend saw you’
‘Oh’ followed by peals of laughter.
Laughter in tense moments, grossly overrated
‘Arre, that’s sue’
‘not you?’
‘No Sue. Sue is my cousin Sujaya, who looks a lot like me. She’s quite a wild one. Even lives all alone. Certainly not marriage material’
I gulp
‘…unlike me who knows to cook all possible dishes, I read the Gita everyday, I…’
I’m suddenly in a funk. The lady in front of me seems like a reincarnation of my mother. I pick up my cellphone and switch it on and try to contact Sunny. The recording lady tells me that he is busy. I pace the room waiting for a return call.
Sunny returns my call with a message. ‘Dude small mistake, the chic ur gettin hitched 2 is Sue’s cous. I just met Sue at Sunil’s party. She’s moving to Mbai and the best news, were goin out. We might just marry into the same fly :) Do update me on tonite ;)’
I place the mobile and look into the very eager eyes of my bride, my wife, my soulmate. Well frankly she does look nice and I really could do with home cooking. I must count my blessings and most importantly it is my first nite. So I get closer to my wife and very gingerly try to kiss her.
She jumps off the bed and says ‘No No, Amma says sex on second Saturdays only’
-Pranay Rao
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
The wait
She switched on the TV and then looked at the clock. It was a little later than usual, but she'd wait. This wasn't the first time, this had happened. Her son was busy playing with a pair of spoons on the dining table. He would be a great musician, she knew that. The serial was very interesting and Saira was about to get married to the guy who was actually her sister's first husband, when she looked at the clock again a little impatiently. The serial was almost ending and the cookery show would start. She wished she could tell Saira that it was her brother in law. It was not his fault, he had amnesia and had to have a plastic surgery because of his near-death accident. Her son was again making those sounds, she scolded him with a half smile. He showed all his 22 teeth in response. He knew that his mother loved him too much.
The cookery show was a repeat telecast, but she kept it on all the same. She looked at the clock. Another 20 minutes had passed. The stupid chef was mixing peas before he added the onions. Now the dish wouldn't be half as tasty as it should be. And what was with all the Kaju, did he want his viewers to die of cholestrol? Her son decided to break the monotony with another performance on the table. This was the limit. The father refused to come home on time for dinner and the son wanted to break the dinner table. She took the spoons from his hand, gave him a whack on his bottom and put him into his babycot. For a moment the child was too flabbergasted to react and then broke into a cry which would have had any woman rushing to his rescue, but not his mother. She had decided enough was enough. Today she would settle all her accounts. What did these people think about themselves? Isn't my time valuable?
There was another soap on the other channel. This one was a little more interesting generally, but today it was dragging out. She noticed the time. It was 15 minutes since the serial started. This wouldn't do and not today when she just had her manicure done. She looked at her freshly painted nails and at the lady crying on the screen. Only one woman could feel the pain of another. Her son just then made a sound as he turned in his cot. She went and lovingly held him to herself. Sometimes its only close family who are with you in such calamities. The son, a little apprehensive about his mother's mood changes, looked at her quite blankly. She placed him in the babycot, gathered the pallu of her saree, all the while looking at the mirror on the almirah.
She looked like those persecuted Bahus on the soap operas. She gave one last look at her fingernails, shuddering as she imagined their plight and in a resigned manner moved towards the kitchen when Ding Dong.
She ran to the door with a speed which would make most athletes green with envy. Opened the door to find the simple little lady with a huge red bindi, who let herself in. 'Woh Memsaab, paani ka problem tha isiliye late huaa'. She immediately forgot all about her one and a half hour wait and embraced Kantabai. Her son looked at them through the babycot with a very puzzled expression, equally puzzled was Kantabai. The clock had struck 2, she immediately let go off her servant. This was her favourite serial. The woman was going to tell her husband about his son actually being the son of the lawyer of his biggest rival. Kantabai quickly rushed into the kitchen. The kid closed his eyes. Life was back to normal.
- Pranay Rao
The cookery show was a repeat telecast, but she kept it on all the same. She looked at the clock. Another 20 minutes had passed. The stupid chef was mixing peas before he added the onions. Now the dish wouldn't be half as tasty as it should be. And what was with all the Kaju, did he want his viewers to die of cholestrol? Her son decided to break the monotony with another performance on the table. This was the limit. The father refused to come home on time for dinner and the son wanted to break the dinner table. She took the spoons from his hand, gave him a whack on his bottom and put him into his babycot. For a moment the child was too flabbergasted to react and then broke into a cry which would have had any woman rushing to his rescue, but not his mother. She had decided enough was enough. Today she would settle all her accounts. What did these people think about themselves? Isn't my time valuable?
There was another soap on the other channel. This one was a little more interesting generally, but today it was dragging out. She noticed the time. It was 15 minutes since the serial started. This wouldn't do and not today when she just had her manicure done. She looked at her freshly painted nails and at the lady crying on the screen. Only one woman could feel the pain of another. Her son just then made a sound as he turned in his cot. She went and lovingly held him to herself. Sometimes its only close family who are with you in such calamities. The son, a little apprehensive about his mother's mood changes, looked at her quite blankly. She placed him in the babycot, gathered the pallu of her saree, all the while looking at the mirror on the almirah.
She looked like those persecuted Bahus on the soap operas. She gave one last look at her fingernails, shuddering as she imagined their plight and in a resigned manner moved towards the kitchen when Ding Dong.
She ran to the door with a speed which would make most athletes green with envy. Opened the door to find the simple little lady with a huge red bindi, who let herself in. 'Woh Memsaab, paani ka problem tha isiliye late huaa'. She immediately forgot all about her one and a half hour wait and embraced Kantabai. Her son looked at them through the babycot with a very puzzled expression, equally puzzled was Kantabai. The clock had struck 2, she immediately let go off her servant. This was her favourite serial. The woman was going to tell her husband about his son actually being the son of the lawyer of his biggest rival. Kantabai quickly rushed into the kitchen. The kid closed his eyes. Life was back to normal.
- Pranay Rao
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
A mid summer night adventure
Rex quite literally felt hot under his collar, he had never seen such a summer. Actually he'd rarely stepped out during summer. He was used to people waiting on him. The trappings of luxury were not easily forgotten even when one is in such a sad state. He looked around, realized that the sun was setting. He was tired and hungry. It was his resilience which never let him wallow in self-pity. He brushed his beautiful brown coat, which had once been the envy of most of his friends, now it had turned a muddy dirty brown. He looked at the bakery on the other side. The smell of freshly baked buns was wafting through the air. In his current state the baker would not let him set foot into his establishment. He'd have to wait.
Rohit had the a/c on at full blast. He knew that he had no cash to pay the electricity bills, but didn't really care. His dreams of setting up his own little advertising agency had been most brutally quashed. He took one last look at the story boards. He could have been wiser and should have sold out his business to the shark Rana. He never realized how Rana would have him bleed to death. There was no need of making an offer now. His best talent was already working for Rana, but he knew that he (Rohit) was the biggest catch. It was inevitable that he would have to crawl into Rana's office tommorow. He really hated what was happening and moreso hated his helplessness. If only he could somehow get hold of some money to tide over the next month, he would have the Manibhai jewellry campaign firmly in his pocket. His instinct had never let him down. But instinct was no match for a man who could manipulate almost anything and anybody. In despair he lay his head on the table and then sneezed aloud. He got up to see that there was an envelope next to his hand and it smelled of Rose petals. He had not noticed it till then. It had this most sweet picture of a couple holding hands. He opened it and a few Rose petals fell into his lap. He felt suficiently intrigued to read it. 'Dear Sir, You are cordially invited to the singles nite at cafe duette. Get ready for a nite of romance and meet the person of your dreams. Entry by invitation only...'
'...dress code: black tie' Reena felt in seventh heaven. This was what she had been preparing for the whole week. Her beauty parlour job was just a training ground to learn how to groom herself for nites like these. Her friends never understood why she spent all her money on such expensive affairs. They would probably chide her for spending most of her savings on this beautiful red evening gown n she had red sandals to match. The dress was bought at a clearance sale at a very expensive boutique, the shoes were quite expensive though but she didnt mind. She looked at the mirror and found this sweet yet plain lady facing her. She carefully took out the tools of her trade. Her boss was kind enuff to give her most of the expensive cosmetics just as they were close to expiry. She looked at the mirror and began her work.
Raphael was named after a famous italian artist. His father also an artist albeit a fledgling one had named him thus hoping that he would be an artist of repute. He wryly thought that there was quite the element of art in the trade he had chosen and tried hard to leave. He looked across the street and noticed that they were still sitting in their car. They had tracked him down just on the day he was going to marry Rose. They waited outside the church and smiled at him when he left for his honeymoon. He knew they had found him. The only escape was fleeing off to another place and starting off afresh. But then there was Rose. She was all of twenty five, young and impressionable and oh so vulnerable. His first instinct had been to tell her all about it. But then he could not risk it. Not then at least.
Rex waited at the bench across the bakery. It was shaded and thankfully there were no unsavoury characters around. He could now smell chocolate in the air. Probably they were freshly made chocolate scones or a black forest cake or just those chocolate biscuits which melted into your mouth.These happy thoughts and the bench acted as a drug and he was soon asleep, curled up on the bench.
Rohit looked at the tuxedo and could frankly say that it looked quite nice. His last thousands had gone into renting it. He of course had the lucky 500 note in his purse in case of an emergency. The plan was simple. He had to net a rich girl by the end of the nite. People who turned up at such events were usually well to do. He wouldn't aim too high, just some lady with enough money to get him back on his feet. It didn't matter how she looked or what she was like, the key was money. He prided himself on charming most female clients into giving him their business. He wasn't too bad to look at and really once he identified his target, his smooth talking would do the rest.
Reena had just dabbed a little perfume on the back of her earlobes, she looked at herself in the mirror and was quite happy with the result. She had drawn sharp eyebrows to complement her round face and the little mole on her cheek accentuated her beautiful skin. She was looking quite pretty and confident. Not too hot so that she wouldn't attract the wrong kind of people and not too plain which would keep the gatecrashers away. The cool cab honked outside her rented appartment. She tiptoed outside to the cab to make sure she didn't disturb her roommate or her boyfriend. 'Cafe duette, here I come'.
The heist was going to be a piece of cake. The property belonged to Rana, a local thug. It was jewellry, most of it stolen, so there would be no official complaint. The cut would be 10%, not his usual 60%. They knew that he had much more to lose. He got out of his car which was a brand new Chevrolet and pretty expensive at that. The car was his to keep, which meant only one thing, that this would never end. He took out his wallet and looked at his Rose. This was going to be dangerous, but it was the only way. This was one of the older buildings on the block, which meant it had an external fire escape. He climbed up the steps. 'Miaaaaow' a cat ran across the steps. He never believed in bad luck but today was different. Suddenly the window on the first floor opened and a woman looked out. He was outlined against the neon lights, there was no way she would miss him.
Reena looked across the room she would soon command. There were one or two other girls who could give her a run for her money, but thankfully they all seemed to have men at their arms. She had barely walked a few steps when a nervous young guy approached her. He was quite okay but unfortunately he asked first. the rule of the game was never to say yes to the first few people and frankly he didnt even look too rich. Suddenly she heard a very breathless voice by her side. It was Sophia. Sophia's father had just recently made a fortune in stocks, which meant that she was quite the catch for most guys. She wasn't much to look at but nice to talk to. She always regarded Reena as some kind of Diva and always looked up to her.
Sophia Shah aka Sunainaben Shah, few knew her actual name though most knew her father Manibhai, the nouvaeu rich jeweller whose ad campaign was such a major catch. She had tagged along with her father once and seemed most interested in him, but Rohit then had other interests. Frankly she was nice and quite pretty until she spoke. but today it really didn't matter. If he could somehow hook Sophia, he'd have money and the ad campaign to boot. He moved in for the kill.
'Kitty, Kitty here now where has she gone?' There was no way she could miss him standing just a few feet from her window. Suddenly he heard a voice 'Mummy, Youll never find her without your glasses'. Raphael slammed himself against the wall. At a distance he could see the 'Cafe Duette'. Tonite it seemed to have a million big cars parked outside. The lady squinted and looked around once more and then decided that kitty could stay out if she wanted to. The window was left open but a set of very dirty curtains were drawn. 'Phew, that was close'. He had been living dangerously for some time now. Courage was something he never lacked, but luck was something much more important in his trade. He climbed the next flight which creaked loudly, but fortunately didnt give way. He was now outside the room which he had to get in and out within the next hour. It was 10 pm and he wanted this job done by 11, time was of utmost importance tonite. The people in the car had no idea about this. He took out the vacum grip and the diamond cutter. The grip was placed at the centre of the glass and he began cutting a hole big enough for him to get through.
Rohit walked across the room, keeping his target firmly in sight. He was blocked for a moment by a waiter, who was carrying a tray full of empty champagne glasses. He looked up to find Sophia when he first caught sight of her. Beautiful was not the right word, exquisite maybe but there was something more about her which quite unconsciously made him hold his breath. She was dressed in this most beautiful red gown and had the sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life. He decided he had to get a grip over himself. But it really wasn't possible, this was definitely the wrong day to fall in love. 'Love', God had he used the word. She was just attractive in a wierdly magnetic way. Well there was one way to find out, she was after all standing next to Sophia.
Reena greeted Sophia who looked all excited. 'Hi Reena, didn't I do it properly this time'. By it she meant kissing the air. When Reena met her the first time, Sophia actually went around kissing people in greeting. Most laffed as soon as they were out of sight. It was finally out of pity and the lack of any decent guy that she decided to help Sophia out. She was like a pet project and had absolutely no idea about what Reena did. Reena had vaguely mentioned something about being in the beauty industry and Sophia quite promptly thought she was a model. Reena never corrected her, she had of course never told her she was one. As she stood chatting, she noticed someone walking towards her. She looked up and just kept looking. There was something quite attractive about the guy walking towards her. He wasnt the usual adonis types who cavorted around here. There was just the touch of class, she detected a veiled passion. Something about him had her just....'Reena' she told herself 'Get a hold of yourself'. She prided herself on being cold and calculating yet this was quite unsettling.
Raphael carefully placed the glass on the fire escape floor. Once he had let the glass slip while robbing a house on the top floor of a skyscraper. He got away just in time. Unfortunately the glass shattered on the pavement below. The next day's nespaper said that one of the pieces had hurt a child. It was the first time he had felt guilty about his work. He always chose the rich shady types, who had ill-gotten gain. He also always donated 20% of his cut to the church box and he had confessed regularly. It was Fr. Lewis who had first tried to help him correct his ways, but the main reason he had stopped was Inspector Pawar. He then took out a spray from the bag and sprayed it through the open window. The burglar alarm, he had deactivated as soon as he had created the opening. Now he had to just ensure that there were no motion sensors. In his bag he had two compacts and the laser toys which kids usually had. Most movies showed burglars using hi-fi tools, they would be shocked if they found out how easy it was. The spray showed that there were no sensors and if he had already deactivated what the electrician had said was the only burglar alarm, this was gonna be a piece of cake. He put down his tools and then pulled the dirty carpet. It was a floor mounted safe. He had quite accidently found that out when he went over the floor plans. He took out his stethescope, held it against the safe and began his work. He whistled a tune and realized that the tune was 'She's always a woman to me'. He whistled softly as the combination dials responded to his artistry. It was her favourite song.
Inspector Rahul Pawar, was very irritable today. His wife had made him give up paan so he was chewing sugarless gum. His wife had categorically stated that another paan stain on his uniform and she'd throw him out of the house. He might be the terror of criminals but was himself terrified of his wife. And today on a saturday nite, he was out on this wild goose chase. The sms had been traced back to an internet site. If necessary, it was possible to trace the exact place from where the sms had originated. But then he knew the sender. The cat burglar or cat was what he was called in his heydays. There was no safe/combination he couldn't crack. All his robberies were works of art and since the people he robbed were mostly notorious elements, Pawar considered it an act of nobility. Two things had led him onto the trail of the cat. The first was the phone calls from superiors who in turn were being harrased by ministers. Considering that only two of the twenty odd robberies had been reported to the police, there was too much pressure on him. The second was the Dilrooba brothers. That really wasn't their names, but they owned a dance bar called Dilrooba which was a front for large scale smuggling of drugs, guns, stolen jewellry. They were protected by some very powerful people and it was really difficult to net them. Apparently the cat worked under their directions. His thoughts were interrupted by a mosquito which he swatted quite viciously
Rohit tried hard not to look at the lady in red, but he really couldn't ignore her when he came face to face with Sophia. Sophia was busy chatting with Reena when she suddenly saw that her interest had wavered and she looked up to find Rohit, the cause. Rohit tried hard to make small talk with Sophia who clearly saw that he was smitten by the lady on her side. Well Reena had been quite helpful during these long parties which her father kept sending her too, maybe she could play cupid. The thought brought a smile onto her face and she introduced Rohit to Reena and vice-versa. It was during the introduction she realized how little she knew about Reena.
'Rohit, This is Reena, my friend and a model' I think she thought to herself 'and Reena, this is Rohit up and coming creative genius of Rohit enterprise, the ad-agency and oh no, I just remembered that I left my cell in the car, one second.' Sophia knew that this was the best occassion to slip off and frankly they never even realized that she was gone.
Raphael turned the dial and heard the last lever click into place. He carefully lifted the door ever so slightly, making sure that there were no contacts along the rim, meaning that there was no second burglar alarm. This was probably the easiest job he had ever pulled off. The owner was either remarkably confident or remarkably stupid but then the safe was virtually uncrackable. He opened it to see a glittering set of pearls. He dimmed the light of his flashlight and began packing them into his sling bag. There were some notes, foreign currency he had never seen, even some mortgage papers and contracts. He then flipped open his cellphone. What he was going to do would require some bravery and loads of luck. His planning was impeccable, but it had been impecable the night that Pawar had caught up with him. But this time he had Pawar on his side (he hoped) and of course Rose. He still remembered the night. She had quitely told him that they should shift into a larger apartment because they needed the extra space. For a minute he thought that Rose's aunt would be moving in. Then he saw her smile and understood. Then they celebrated with a bottle of Goan wine and held each other and held each other and danced.
Inspector Pawar still remembered the nght that they had finally caught up with the cat. It was a tip-off from an informer that had finally resulted in the cat being found. He had patiently waited near the getaway car, but then heard another car moving out of the parking lot. He reacted in time to give chase. It was past 10 pm and the roads were clear enough to drive fast. The cat had a Palio 1.6 sports while he was driving a Gypsy. There was no way he could catch up with him, till suddenly the cat swerved to avoid a lady who was crossing the deserted street. He had not entirely missed though and she lay on the road. Instead of speeding away, he got down and checked on the lady as Pawar slowed down by his side. They both helped her into the Palio and Pawar sat in the passenger seat as they rushed her to a nearby hospital. It was then that he spoke to him for the first time. It was an odd conversation. 'The cat, I presume'
'Raphael, Raphael D'Souza'
'You know you could have run away'
'I could run away from you, but not from myself'
'You know I have to turn you in'
Silence
'See Cat, Raphael or whatever your name is, I never believe in giving people a second chance, nor will I ever do that'
'I understand'
'But I am going to the coffee dispenser at the end of the hall and then I will go to the bathroom for a leak and when I come back, I do believe the cat legend should cease to exist, (pause) do you understand?'
At that moment the cat looked startled yet relieved 'I understand'
From then on the cat legend had ceased to exist. That was until last week when a daring robbery was conducted at the den of an underworld don. A very famous painting called the 'scales of justice' had been stolen. It was of course not reported but then those calls had begun and then there was the sms he had received which asked him to park his car about 500 metres to the left of 'Cafe Duette' at around 11 pm and wait for further instructions. It was signed ' the cat'. He hoped to hell, that the cat was going to turn himself in. Why, he did not know but years of police life had made him realize that logic had no place in the world of crime. He handed the cellphone to his assistant and promptly dozed off. There was no sense in staying keyed up unnecessarily, he would have to trust cat.
Rohit had his arms around Reena and they were dancing slowly to the music. She placed her head on his shoulder, which was really to intimate a gesture for her. It was a nice slow number and she was enjoying it like never before. There was definitely chemistry of the kind she had never experienced before. The conversation was minimal, it was as if they did not want to break the magic.
Rohit finally decided that he had to say something, clear his throat or make a noise. 'So u are a model, huh?'
She was definitely very pretty but did not look like any model he had seen before and being in the advertising industry meant he had met many models before. Probably she was just starting out or something and frankly he didnt care, but that was all he knew about her and he had to start somewhere.
'Well, yes'
'Which agency?'
'Uh, I'm kinda freelance'
She seemed a little uncomfortable answering the questions so he stopped asking. 'Damn you Rohit, youre gonna make her want to run away' he thought to himself.
Reena suddenly realized that she wasn't the model that he thought he was dancing with. She never even belonged to this place. She had always dreamt about finding this rich succesful man she would finally marry. In her imagination, it was always him being so besotted with her that he would accept her for whatever she was. she had never thought that she would fall in love with someone. This would never do. She lifted her head to tell him that she wanted a break.
Rohit realized that she probably took him to be a succesful ad-man who would probably propel her career not some struggling entrepreuner who was in deep trouble. And somehow he had managed to put her off wit his questions.He saw her raise her head and looked into those beautiful brown eyes and noticed that one of them was a little red.
'Roht...'
'Uh Reena, ur eyes are looking a bit funny'
She suddenly felt a mild itching in her eyes and excused herself and rushed to the restroom. It was then that she noticed that her right eye had inflamed. she knew that she had to get her eye make up off.
Rohit waited patiently glancing repeatedly in the direction of the restrooms.
Raphael distinctly remembered the phone call which had broken the silence. He had rushed to the phone expecting some friend phoning to congratulate them, when he recognized the voice. The conversation was short and sweet. They wanted him to pull a job for them and then congratulated him on becoming a father. There would be another call with further instructions. He kept the phone down with his hands trembling. Rose was at his side in an instant. She gave him a glass of water. He looked at her and knew that he couldnt lie any longer, not to her, not now, not ever. And then the story came out. It began in fits and starts and then there was a torrent. he told her how he had begun his trade, the robberies, the near escape and how he had ran away to this small suburb, of how he was to fly off to another country then he had met her and stayed back. He kept apologizing to her. She took it with an amazing strength he had never credited her with. It was then that she said ' Raphe, we will get out of this together'. He dialed her number and gave her two missed calls, waited for her call in return, then sent the pre typed sms to Pawar and then proceeded with clearing the phone memory. he looked at the time it was 11:05. he crept out of the window and made his way back to the car. They looked from a distance. It was the usual drill. He would hand over the bag to him at Dilrooba bar. They followed him at a distance.
Inspector Pawar had this most pleasant dream where he was quite a few kilos lighter and dancing with his wife who was looking more and more like Aishwarya Rai when his driver suddenly nudged him. 'Pawar sir, sms'. He cursed whoever had sent him the sms, then read the message and smiled. So finally the cat was going to surrender. It told him to look for a green ford with two people in it parked at some distance from the 'Cafe Duette'. It also told him to proceed on foot. He thought about taking his gypsy with him and then decided against it. He had an instinct that this was going to be interesting. Two people, now who could the second one be?
Reena looked at the mirror and saw that her eye was getting redder and it was itching quite badly now. She had to get to some doctor immediately. But she didnt want to go out and face Rohit again. Desperately she kept washing her eye with cold water which fell all over her dress ruining it. She was close to tears.
Raphael checked the watch again as he parked the car outside Cafe Duette. Rose would be half way to the airport and he trusted Pawar to follow his instructions. As if on cue he noticed Pawar in his rearview mirror. The green ford following him had also come to a stop. He now had to wait till Pawar noticed the other car and he trusted him to be kept busy enough to make his escape. He had decided that he would use the money from the robbery to setup business. He had earned precious little from his life as a plumber for them to live in style. He looked out and noticed that there was a red carpet strewn with rose petals bruised by people walking over them. He then realized that he couldn't hurt his Rose again. Their child would never be brought up with this money. The satchel of stolen goods would remain here. He took out a note and began writing something.
Inspector Pawar found the green ford and walked towards it cautiously. The drivers seemed preoccupied with something ahead of them. Suddenly he recognized the two criminals he had been so desperately tryng to find. He walked into a darker part of the road and radioed in for back up. Then revolver in hand he moved towards the vehicle.
Raphael realized that he had to get the Dilrooba brothers away from the vehicle. He got out of his vehicle and walked towards the cafe with his toolbag in hand. The car key was in the ignition in case he had to escape. Predictably the brothers parked the vehicle and opened their doors. This was not part of the plan. The larger of the two was about to call out to Raphael when he felt cold metal on his head. Pawar gave him a nice big grin.
'Hello, hands up and move away from the vehicle'
The brothers were a little shaken but didnt lose hope
'We have commited no wrong inspector'
Just then Pawar's gypsy pulled up quitely. Two constables jumped out from the back.
'We can do it quitely or I just love encounters'
'We are too powerful for an encounter, my dear inspector and you cannot tie us to any crime. Why don't you check our vehicle?'
'Tawde, check the vehicle.'
One of the constables checked the vehicle while the other handcuffed the twosome. They seemed confident almost cocky
'Do we make the phone call now or later?'
'I'll tell you......'
'sir, there's a tube in the back'
Pawar found a tube, the kind used to keep large sheets of paper. He opened the tube to find a painting. It had a pair of scales and a lot of other stuff which made no sense to him.
One of the brothers gasped quite loudly ' the scales of justice'
'The painting stolen from Saket, the underworld don?'
The fear on their faces quite obviously showed that they had nothing to do with it.
'Well posession of stolen property. That also stolen from an underworld don. You could have just shot yourself in your heads'
'No we did not...'
Pawar actually smiled for the first time that nite 'Thank you cat'
Raphael saw the entire scene unfolding on the other side of the street and then smsed the inspector a simple ' thank you'. Once again he cleared the memory, wiped the cellphone with a handkerchief and deposited the cellphone in a garbage bin adjacent to a bench. He felt as if the load of all the crimes he had ever committed was lifted from his shoulders. The Palio was parked at the back of the cafe. He got in and zipped away.
Sophia entered the restroom to see a very plain looking Reena bitterly crying at the wash basin. She immediately noticed that her eye had reddened quite badly.
'Oh my god, you need to get to a doctor'
She grabbed Reena and took her outside. Rohit saw the both of them and tagged along.
'Reena, are you alrite'
'Rohit, she needs to see a doctor immediately. We'll take my car and rush to a nearby clinic.'
They ran outside to Sophia's vehicle but found that her driver was nowhere to be seen.
'Oh my god ,it's going to be impossible to find a taxi at this time'
It was just then that Rohit noticed a chevrolet parked behind Sophia's car. The door was ajar and he noticed that the car was empty. Luckily the key was in the ignition.
Sophia immediately put Reena into the passenger seat. Rohit slid into the drivers' one.
'Rohit the hospital is just 10 kms from here. Take this road and turn off just before the highway, just near the clock tower'
'Aren't you coming?'
'I'll get my driver and come there soon. Meanwhile I'll find the driver of this vehicle and tell him that we are borrowing it. Now get going'
Rohit reversed the car and drove as fast as he could. He noticed that Reena wa crying because of the pain. He badly wanted to do something, say something which would help her feel better.
'Don't worry you'll be fine in no time. It's just an allergic reaction' and then he added ' You can get back to your modelling in no time'
No sooner had he said this than she began crying afresh.
'I'm really sorry, I jus wanted you to feel better honest'. He felt that it was best if he took her to the hospital in complete silence.
Reena decided that it was now or never. In between sobs she told him the truth. She was no model, just a hair dresser and the reason she did this was to find someone who would help her lead a better life, a much wealthier one. She kept her head down not knowing what reaction to expect when suddenly she heard him laughing. Okay he probably had lost it. She looked up quite concerned since it was after all nearly midnight and she was all alone with him.
He looked at her and gave her a nice little smile. 'You know I too am no big shot ad-man, just someone who has a dream, but no money to support it'
She was staring wide eyed at him and he continued 'I was hoping you would be the one who'll help me make my name in this business'
Reena suddenly forgot the pain 'so we are two people with big dreams and not a cent to make it true'
'Yes my lady. Actually were two people in a stolen car, with just dreams'
Reena smiled and moved closer to Rohit. The tears had helped reduce the itching and the last few minutes had made her completely forget it. They could see the clock tower in the distance. He hoped her treatment did not cost more than Rs 500 because thats all he had and Reena had not brought her purse along.
Rex was rudely dumped from his sleeping place. He got up to see that a very unsavoury character stood over him. He immediately jumped to his feet and suddenly noticed that it was really late. The bakery had closed. He did notice a light on in the bakery kitchen. They would have begun work on the morning bread. Just then the kitchen door opened and the bakery boy threw out the stale bread. Rex couldn't believe his luck. His hunger took complete control of him and he bounded across the street. Suddenly he found a pair of headlamps coming towards him and froze
Rohit held Reena closer to him realizing that she was all he posessed now. The moment and the empty roads meant that his eyes were more on reena than the road when she suddenly shouted 'Rohit look out'.
He noticed a small brown creature staring at him on the road. He swerved hard to the left and the vehicle screeched to a halt.
'Oh my god, its a cute little dog and it's hurt'
Frankly the dog looked really dirty, but today he wasn't really complainiing. His seat belt seemed to be stuck so he bent down to free it when he noticed that a satchel had fallen from the backseat. The contents had fallen all over the back. He switched on the light and found himself staring at a collection of jewellry and money and on the bottom a roughly formed note.
These are all stolen from the Rana estate, it is all earned from dishonest means. Use them if you want to or give them to charity, it really doesnt matter. BTW the car is also yours to keep. Just consider this the luckiest day in your life. signed the cat.
Rohit noticed that he was sweating profusely. Just then he noticed a police vehicle in his rearview mirror. It seemed to be heading right for him. Rana would most probably kill him if they found him with his loot. He wanted to speed away but Reena was outside with the dog. No one would believe that he hadnt robbed all this especially with his history with Rana.
The police gypsy pulled up besides his car. A very happy looking inspector got out and asked him 'Don't tell me your speeding away with some underworld don's hard earned loot'
Rohit suddenly felt all the blood draining from his face. The inspector noticed this and laughed aloud.
'Don't worry man, I was just kidding you. Tell you what I wont even ask you if you are driving drunk.' and then taking off his cap 'BTW I am inspector Pawar, need any help?'
Rohit somehow regained his composure just as Reena picked up the dog and came and stood next to him. She whispered 'Is it about the car?'
Pawar looked at the two and saw that they were a decent looking couple with a dog, a very dirty dog to boot. Most probably must've been speeding down these roads at night. Well that wasn't his lookout, he wasn't traffic police.
'Nice dog you have maam, whats his name?'
'Rex, Inspector sir'
Pawar smiled, 'Don't worry maam, in the mood I am today you could as well rob a bank and it wouldn't affect me. You aren't planning to are you?'
The inspector laughed at his own joke and then got into the gypsy. This was his lucky night.
The two of them smiled as the police vehicle speeded away.
'How do you know his name?'
'Well he's got a collar with a name tag. He's a bulldog you know, I am surprised that he is out on these streets. Maybe he is like us, trying to find his dreams. Wat say can we afford to keep him?'
It was then that Rohit realized that she did not know of the money, he also realized that she had just spoken of them as a couple. He had a lot to tell her but he would hold his tongue as he tried to capture the moment. Well there he was with a partner, a dog albeit a dirty one and money to start his.. oops their own family.
'Rohit look a falling star'
He noticed that the falling star had landing lights 'It's not a falling star dear, it's a plane.'
'Maybe one day we two will fly off to some beautiful place. What say?' She looked most beautiful standing without a care in the world gazing at the plane fly into the distance.
Just then the clock tower struck 12. Each note highlighting the fact that it was a new day. The cat guy was right, it was his luckiest day, the luckiest day of his life.
-Pranay Rao
Rohit had the a/c on at full blast. He knew that he had no cash to pay the electricity bills, but didn't really care. His dreams of setting up his own little advertising agency had been most brutally quashed. He took one last look at the story boards. He could have been wiser and should have sold out his business to the shark Rana. He never realized how Rana would have him bleed to death. There was no need of making an offer now. His best talent was already working for Rana, but he knew that he (Rohit) was the biggest catch. It was inevitable that he would have to crawl into Rana's office tommorow. He really hated what was happening and moreso hated his helplessness. If only he could somehow get hold of some money to tide over the next month, he would have the Manibhai jewellry campaign firmly in his pocket. His instinct had never let him down. But instinct was no match for a man who could manipulate almost anything and anybody. In despair he lay his head on the table and then sneezed aloud. He got up to see that there was an envelope next to his hand and it smelled of Rose petals. He had not noticed it till then. It had this most sweet picture of a couple holding hands. He opened it and a few Rose petals fell into his lap. He felt suficiently intrigued to read it. 'Dear Sir, You are cordially invited to the singles nite at cafe duette. Get ready for a nite of romance and meet the person of your dreams. Entry by invitation only...'
'...dress code: black tie' Reena felt in seventh heaven. This was what she had been preparing for the whole week. Her beauty parlour job was just a training ground to learn how to groom herself for nites like these. Her friends never understood why she spent all her money on such expensive affairs. They would probably chide her for spending most of her savings on this beautiful red evening gown n she had red sandals to match. The dress was bought at a clearance sale at a very expensive boutique, the shoes were quite expensive though but she didnt mind. She looked at the mirror and found this sweet yet plain lady facing her. She carefully took out the tools of her trade. Her boss was kind enuff to give her most of the expensive cosmetics just as they were close to expiry. She looked at the mirror and began her work.
Raphael was named after a famous italian artist. His father also an artist albeit a fledgling one had named him thus hoping that he would be an artist of repute. He wryly thought that there was quite the element of art in the trade he had chosen and tried hard to leave. He looked across the street and noticed that they were still sitting in their car. They had tracked him down just on the day he was going to marry Rose. They waited outside the church and smiled at him when he left for his honeymoon. He knew they had found him. The only escape was fleeing off to another place and starting off afresh. But then there was Rose. She was all of twenty five, young and impressionable and oh so vulnerable. His first instinct had been to tell her all about it. But then he could not risk it. Not then at least.
Rex waited at the bench across the bakery. It was shaded and thankfully there were no unsavoury characters around. He could now smell chocolate in the air. Probably they were freshly made chocolate scones or a black forest cake or just those chocolate biscuits which melted into your mouth.These happy thoughts and the bench acted as a drug and he was soon asleep, curled up on the bench.
Rohit looked at the tuxedo and could frankly say that it looked quite nice. His last thousands had gone into renting it. He of course had the lucky 500 note in his purse in case of an emergency. The plan was simple. He had to net a rich girl by the end of the nite. People who turned up at such events were usually well to do. He wouldn't aim too high, just some lady with enough money to get him back on his feet. It didn't matter how she looked or what she was like, the key was money. He prided himself on charming most female clients into giving him their business. He wasn't too bad to look at and really once he identified his target, his smooth talking would do the rest.
Reena had just dabbed a little perfume on the back of her earlobes, she looked at herself in the mirror and was quite happy with the result. She had drawn sharp eyebrows to complement her round face and the little mole on her cheek accentuated her beautiful skin. She was looking quite pretty and confident. Not too hot so that she wouldn't attract the wrong kind of people and not too plain which would keep the gatecrashers away. The cool cab honked outside her rented appartment. She tiptoed outside to the cab to make sure she didn't disturb her roommate or her boyfriend. 'Cafe duette, here I come'.
The heist was going to be a piece of cake. The property belonged to Rana, a local thug. It was jewellry, most of it stolen, so there would be no official complaint. The cut would be 10%, not his usual 60%. They knew that he had much more to lose. He got out of his car which was a brand new Chevrolet and pretty expensive at that. The car was his to keep, which meant only one thing, that this would never end. He took out his wallet and looked at his Rose. This was going to be dangerous, but it was the only way. This was one of the older buildings on the block, which meant it had an external fire escape. He climbed up the steps. 'Miaaaaow' a cat ran across the steps. He never believed in bad luck but today was different. Suddenly the window on the first floor opened and a woman looked out. He was outlined against the neon lights, there was no way she would miss him.
Reena looked across the room she would soon command. There were one or two other girls who could give her a run for her money, but thankfully they all seemed to have men at their arms. She had barely walked a few steps when a nervous young guy approached her. He was quite okay but unfortunately he asked first. the rule of the game was never to say yes to the first few people and frankly he didnt even look too rich. Suddenly she heard a very breathless voice by her side. It was Sophia. Sophia's father had just recently made a fortune in stocks, which meant that she was quite the catch for most guys. She wasn't much to look at but nice to talk to. She always regarded Reena as some kind of Diva and always looked up to her.
Sophia Shah aka Sunainaben Shah, few knew her actual name though most knew her father Manibhai, the nouvaeu rich jeweller whose ad campaign was such a major catch. She had tagged along with her father once and seemed most interested in him, but Rohit then had other interests. Frankly she was nice and quite pretty until she spoke. but today it really didn't matter. If he could somehow hook Sophia, he'd have money and the ad campaign to boot. He moved in for the kill.
'Kitty, Kitty here now where has she gone?' There was no way she could miss him standing just a few feet from her window. Suddenly he heard a voice 'Mummy, Youll never find her without your glasses'. Raphael slammed himself against the wall. At a distance he could see the 'Cafe Duette'. Tonite it seemed to have a million big cars parked outside. The lady squinted and looked around once more and then decided that kitty could stay out if she wanted to. The window was left open but a set of very dirty curtains were drawn. 'Phew, that was close'. He had been living dangerously for some time now. Courage was something he never lacked, but luck was something much more important in his trade. He climbed the next flight which creaked loudly, but fortunately didnt give way. He was now outside the room which he had to get in and out within the next hour. It was 10 pm and he wanted this job done by 11, time was of utmost importance tonite. The people in the car had no idea about this. He took out the vacum grip and the diamond cutter. The grip was placed at the centre of the glass and he began cutting a hole big enough for him to get through.
Rohit walked across the room, keeping his target firmly in sight. He was blocked for a moment by a waiter, who was carrying a tray full of empty champagne glasses. He looked up to find Sophia when he first caught sight of her. Beautiful was not the right word, exquisite maybe but there was something more about her which quite unconsciously made him hold his breath. She was dressed in this most beautiful red gown and had the sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life. He decided he had to get a grip over himself. But it really wasn't possible, this was definitely the wrong day to fall in love. 'Love', God had he used the word. She was just attractive in a wierdly magnetic way. Well there was one way to find out, she was after all standing next to Sophia.
Reena greeted Sophia who looked all excited. 'Hi Reena, didn't I do it properly this time'. By it she meant kissing the air. When Reena met her the first time, Sophia actually went around kissing people in greeting. Most laffed as soon as they were out of sight. It was finally out of pity and the lack of any decent guy that she decided to help Sophia out. She was like a pet project and had absolutely no idea about what Reena did. Reena had vaguely mentioned something about being in the beauty industry and Sophia quite promptly thought she was a model. Reena never corrected her, she had of course never told her she was one. As she stood chatting, she noticed someone walking towards her. She looked up and just kept looking. There was something quite attractive about the guy walking towards her. He wasnt the usual adonis types who cavorted around here. There was just the touch of class, she detected a veiled passion. Something about him had her just....'Reena' she told herself 'Get a hold of yourself'. She prided herself on being cold and calculating yet this was quite unsettling.
Raphael carefully placed the glass on the fire escape floor. Once he had let the glass slip while robbing a house on the top floor of a skyscraper. He got away just in time. Unfortunately the glass shattered on the pavement below. The next day's nespaper said that one of the pieces had hurt a child. It was the first time he had felt guilty about his work. He always chose the rich shady types, who had ill-gotten gain. He also always donated 20% of his cut to the church box and he had confessed regularly. It was Fr. Lewis who had first tried to help him correct his ways, but the main reason he had stopped was Inspector Pawar. He then took out a spray from the bag and sprayed it through the open window. The burglar alarm, he had deactivated as soon as he had created the opening. Now he had to just ensure that there were no motion sensors. In his bag he had two compacts and the laser toys which kids usually had. Most movies showed burglars using hi-fi tools, they would be shocked if they found out how easy it was. The spray showed that there were no sensors and if he had already deactivated what the electrician had said was the only burglar alarm, this was gonna be a piece of cake. He put down his tools and then pulled the dirty carpet. It was a floor mounted safe. He had quite accidently found that out when he went over the floor plans. He took out his stethescope, held it against the safe and began his work. He whistled a tune and realized that the tune was 'She's always a woman to me'. He whistled softly as the combination dials responded to his artistry. It was her favourite song.
Inspector Rahul Pawar, was very irritable today. His wife had made him give up paan so he was chewing sugarless gum. His wife had categorically stated that another paan stain on his uniform and she'd throw him out of the house. He might be the terror of criminals but was himself terrified of his wife. And today on a saturday nite, he was out on this wild goose chase. The sms had been traced back to an internet site. If necessary, it was possible to trace the exact place from where the sms had originated. But then he knew the sender. The cat burglar or cat was what he was called in his heydays. There was no safe/combination he couldn't crack. All his robberies were works of art and since the people he robbed were mostly notorious elements, Pawar considered it an act of nobility. Two things had led him onto the trail of the cat. The first was the phone calls from superiors who in turn were being harrased by ministers. Considering that only two of the twenty odd robberies had been reported to the police, there was too much pressure on him. The second was the Dilrooba brothers. That really wasn't their names, but they owned a dance bar called Dilrooba which was a front for large scale smuggling of drugs, guns, stolen jewellry. They were protected by some very powerful people and it was really difficult to net them. Apparently the cat worked under their directions. His thoughts were interrupted by a mosquito which he swatted quite viciously
Rohit tried hard not to look at the lady in red, but he really couldn't ignore her when he came face to face with Sophia. Sophia was busy chatting with Reena when she suddenly saw that her interest had wavered and she looked up to find Rohit, the cause. Rohit tried hard to make small talk with Sophia who clearly saw that he was smitten by the lady on her side. Well Reena had been quite helpful during these long parties which her father kept sending her too, maybe she could play cupid. The thought brought a smile onto her face and she introduced Rohit to Reena and vice-versa. It was during the introduction she realized how little she knew about Reena.
'Rohit, This is Reena, my friend and a model' I think she thought to herself 'and Reena, this is Rohit up and coming creative genius of Rohit enterprise, the ad-agency and oh no, I just remembered that I left my cell in the car, one second.' Sophia knew that this was the best occassion to slip off and frankly they never even realized that she was gone.
Raphael turned the dial and heard the last lever click into place. He carefully lifted the door ever so slightly, making sure that there were no contacts along the rim, meaning that there was no second burglar alarm. This was probably the easiest job he had ever pulled off. The owner was either remarkably confident or remarkably stupid but then the safe was virtually uncrackable. He opened it to see a glittering set of pearls. He dimmed the light of his flashlight and began packing them into his sling bag. There were some notes, foreign currency he had never seen, even some mortgage papers and contracts. He then flipped open his cellphone. What he was going to do would require some bravery and loads of luck. His planning was impeccable, but it had been impecable the night that Pawar had caught up with him. But this time he had Pawar on his side (he hoped) and of course Rose. He still remembered the night. She had quitely told him that they should shift into a larger apartment because they needed the extra space. For a minute he thought that Rose's aunt would be moving in. Then he saw her smile and understood. Then they celebrated with a bottle of Goan wine and held each other and held each other and danced.
Inspector Pawar still remembered the nght that they had finally caught up with the cat. It was a tip-off from an informer that had finally resulted in the cat being found. He had patiently waited near the getaway car, but then heard another car moving out of the parking lot. He reacted in time to give chase. It was past 10 pm and the roads were clear enough to drive fast. The cat had a Palio 1.6 sports while he was driving a Gypsy. There was no way he could catch up with him, till suddenly the cat swerved to avoid a lady who was crossing the deserted street. He had not entirely missed though and she lay on the road. Instead of speeding away, he got down and checked on the lady as Pawar slowed down by his side. They both helped her into the Palio and Pawar sat in the passenger seat as they rushed her to a nearby hospital. It was then that he spoke to him for the first time. It was an odd conversation. 'The cat, I presume'
'Raphael, Raphael D'Souza'
'You know you could have run away'
'I could run away from you, but not from myself'
'You know I have to turn you in'
Silence
'See Cat, Raphael or whatever your name is, I never believe in giving people a second chance, nor will I ever do that'
'I understand'
'But I am going to the coffee dispenser at the end of the hall and then I will go to the bathroom for a leak and when I come back, I do believe the cat legend should cease to exist, (pause) do you understand?'
At that moment the cat looked startled yet relieved 'I understand'
From then on the cat legend had ceased to exist. That was until last week when a daring robbery was conducted at the den of an underworld don. A very famous painting called the 'scales of justice' had been stolen. It was of course not reported but then those calls had begun and then there was the sms he had received which asked him to park his car about 500 metres to the left of 'Cafe Duette' at around 11 pm and wait for further instructions. It was signed ' the cat'. He hoped to hell, that the cat was going to turn himself in. Why, he did not know but years of police life had made him realize that logic had no place in the world of crime. He handed the cellphone to his assistant and promptly dozed off. There was no sense in staying keyed up unnecessarily, he would have to trust cat.
Rohit had his arms around Reena and they were dancing slowly to the music. She placed her head on his shoulder, which was really to intimate a gesture for her. It was a nice slow number and she was enjoying it like never before. There was definitely chemistry of the kind she had never experienced before. The conversation was minimal, it was as if they did not want to break the magic.
Rohit finally decided that he had to say something, clear his throat or make a noise. 'So u are a model, huh?'
She was definitely very pretty but did not look like any model he had seen before and being in the advertising industry meant he had met many models before. Probably she was just starting out or something and frankly he didnt care, but that was all he knew about her and he had to start somewhere.
'Well, yes'
'Which agency?'
'Uh, I'm kinda freelance'
She seemed a little uncomfortable answering the questions so he stopped asking. 'Damn you Rohit, youre gonna make her want to run away' he thought to himself.
Reena suddenly realized that she wasn't the model that he thought he was dancing with. She never even belonged to this place. She had always dreamt about finding this rich succesful man she would finally marry. In her imagination, it was always him being so besotted with her that he would accept her for whatever she was. she had never thought that she would fall in love with someone. This would never do. She lifted her head to tell him that she wanted a break.
Rohit realized that she probably took him to be a succesful ad-man who would probably propel her career not some struggling entrepreuner who was in deep trouble. And somehow he had managed to put her off wit his questions.He saw her raise her head and looked into those beautiful brown eyes and noticed that one of them was a little red.
'Roht...'
'Uh Reena, ur eyes are looking a bit funny'
She suddenly felt a mild itching in her eyes and excused herself and rushed to the restroom. It was then that she noticed that her right eye had inflamed. she knew that she had to get her eye make up off.
Rohit waited patiently glancing repeatedly in the direction of the restrooms.
Raphael distinctly remembered the phone call which had broken the silence. He had rushed to the phone expecting some friend phoning to congratulate them, when he recognized the voice. The conversation was short and sweet. They wanted him to pull a job for them and then congratulated him on becoming a father. There would be another call with further instructions. He kept the phone down with his hands trembling. Rose was at his side in an instant. She gave him a glass of water. He looked at her and knew that he couldnt lie any longer, not to her, not now, not ever. And then the story came out. It began in fits and starts and then there was a torrent. he told her how he had begun his trade, the robberies, the near escape and how he had ran away to this small suburb, of how he was to fly off to another country then he had met her and stayed back. He kept apologizing to her. She took it with an amazing strength he had never credited her with. It was then that she said ' Raphe, we will get out of this together'. He dialed her number and gave her two missed calls, waited for her call in return, then sent the pre typed sms to Pawar and then proceeded with clearing the phone memory. he looked at the time it was 11:05. he crept out of the window and made his way back to the car. They looked from a distance. It was the usual drill. He would hand over the bag to him at Dilrooba bar. They followed him at a distance.
Inspector Pawar had this most pleasant dream where he was quite a few kilos lighter and dancing with his wife who was looking more and more like Aishwarya Rai when his driver suddenly nudged him. 'Pawar sir, sms'. He cursed whoever had sent him the sms, then read the message and smiled. So finally the cat was going to surrender. It told him to look for a green ford with two people in it parked at some distance from the 'Cafe Duette'. It also told him to proceed on foot. He thought about taking his gypsy with him and then decided against it. He had an instinct that this was going to be interesting. Two people, now who could the second one be?
Reena looked at the mirror and saw that her eye was getting redder and it was itching quite badly now. She had to get to some doctor immediately. But she didnt want to go out and face Rohit again. Desperately she kept washing her eye with cold water which fell all over her dress ruining it. She was close to tears.
Raphael checked the watch again as he parked the car outside Cafe Duette. Rose would be half way to the airport and he trusted Pawar to follow his instructions. As if on cue he noticed Pawar in his rearview mirror. The green ford following him had also come to a stop. He now had to wait till Pawar noticed the other car and he trusted him to be kept busy enough to make his escape. He had decided that he would use the money from the robbery to setup business. He had earned precious little from his life as a plumber for them to live in style. He looked out and noticed that there was a red carpet strewn with rose petals bruised by people walking over them. He then realized that he couldn't hurt his Rose again. Their child would never be brought up with this money. The satchel of stolen goods would remain here. He took out a note and began writing something.
Inspector Pawar found the green ford and walked towards it cautiously. The drivers seemed preoccupied with something ahead of them. Suddenly he recognized the two criminals he had been so desperately tryng to find. He walked into a darker part of the road and radioed in for back up. Then revolver in hand he moved towards the vehicle.
Raphael realized that he had to get the Dilrooba brothers away from the vehicle. He got out of his vehicle and walked towards the cafe with his toolbag in hand. The car key was in the ignition in case he had to escape. Predictably the brothers parked the vehicle and opened their doors. This was not part of the plan. The larger of the two was about to call out to Raphael when he felt cold metal on his head. Pawar gave him a nice big grin.
'Hello, hands up and move away from the vehicle'
The brothers were a little shaken but didnt lose hope
'We have commited no wrong inspector'
Just then Pawar's gypsy pulled up quitely. Two constables jumped out from the back.
'We can do it quitely or I just love encounters'
'We are too powerful for an encounter, my dear inspector and you cannot tie us to any crime. Why don't you check our vehicle?'
'Tawde, check the vehicle.'
One of the constables checked the vehicle while the other handcuffed the twosome. They seemed confident almost cocky
'Do we make the phone call now or later?'
'I'll tell you......'
'sir, there's a tube in the back'
Pawar found a tube, the kind used to keep large sheets of paper. He opened the tube to find a painting. It had a pair of scales and a lot of other stuff which made no sense to him.
One of the brothers gasped quite loudly ' the scales of justice'
'The painting stolen from Saket, the underworld don?'
The fear on their faces quite obviously showed that they had nothing to do with it.
'Well posession of stolen property. That also stolen from an underworld don. You could have just shot yourself in your heads'
'No we did not...'
Pawar actually smiled for the first time that nite 'Thank you cat'
Raphael saw the entire scene unfolding on the other side of the street and then smsed the inspector a simple ' thank you'. Once again he cleared the memory, wiped the cellphone with a handkerchief and deposited the cellphone in a garbage bin adjacent to a bench. He felt as if the load of all the crimes he had ever committed was lifted from his shoulders. The Palio was parked at the back of the cafe. He got in and zipped away.
Sophia entered the restroom to see a very plain looking Reena bitterly crying at the wash basin. She immediately noticed that her eye had reddened quite badly.
'Oh my god, you need to get to a doctor'
She grabbed Reena and took her outside. Rohit saw the both of them and tagged along.
'Reena, are you alrite'
'Rohit, she needs to see a doctor immediately. We'll take my car and rush to a nearby clinic.'
They ran outside to Sophia's vehicle but found that her driver was nowhere to be seen.
'Oh my god ,it's going to be impossible to find a taxi at this time'
It was just then that Rohit noticed a chevrolet parked behind Sophia's car. The door was ajar and he noticed that the car was empty. Luckily the key was in the ignition.
Sophia immediately put Reena into the passenger seat. Rohit slid into the drivers' one.
'Rohit the hospital is just 10 kms from here. Take this road and turn off just before the highway, just near the clock tower'
'Aren't you coming?'
'I'll get my driver and come there soon. Meanwhile I'll find the driver of this vehicle and tell him that we are borrowing it. Now get going'
Rohit reversed the car and drove as fast as he could. He noticed that Reena wa crying because of the pain. He badly wanted to do something, say something which would help her feel better.
'Don't worry you'll be fine in no time. It's just an allergic reaction' and then he added ' You can get back to your modelling in no time'
No sooner had he said this than she began crying afresh.
'I'm really sorry, I jus wanted you to feel better honest'. He felt that it was best if he took her to the hospital in complete silence.
Reena decided that it was now or never. In between sobs she told him the truth. She was no model, just a hair dresser and the reason she did this was to find someone who would help her lead a better life, a much wealthier one. She kept her head down not knowing what reaction to expect when suddenly she heard him laughing. Okay he probably had lost it. She looked up quite concerned since it was after all nearly midnight and she was all alone with him.
He looked at her and gave her a nice little smile. 'You know I too am no big shot ad-man, just someone who has a dream, but no money to support it'
She was staring wide eyed at him and he continued 'I was hoping you would be the one who'll help me make my name in this business'
Reena suddenly forgot the pain 'so we are two people with big dreams and not a cent to make it true'
'Yes my lady. Actually were two people in a stolen car, with just dreams'
Reena smiled and moved closer to Rohit. The tears had helped reduce the itching and the last few minutes had made her completely forget it. They could see the clock tower in the distance. He hoped her treatment did not cost more than Rs 500 because thats all he had and Reena had not brought her purse along.
Rex was rudely dumped from his sleeping place. He got up to see that a very unsavoury character stood over him. He immediately jumped to his feet and suddenly noticed that it was really late. The bakery had closed. He did notice a light on in the bakery kitchen. They would have begun work on the morning bread. Just then the kitchen door opened and the bakery boy threw out the stale bread. Rex couldn't believe his luck. His hunger took complete control of him and he bounded across the street. Suddenly he found a pair of headlamps coming towards him and froze
Rohit held Reena closer to him realizing that she was all he posessed now. The moment and the empty roads meant that his eyes were more on reena than the road when she suddenly shouted 'Rohit look out'.
He noticed a small brown creature staring at him on the road. He swerved hard to the left and the vehicle screeched to a halt.
'Oh my god, its a cute little dog and it's hurt'
Frankly the dog looked really dirty, but today he wasn't really complainiing. His seat belt seemed to be stuck so he bent down to free it when he noticed that a satchel had fallen from the backseat. The contents had fallen all over the back. He switched on the light and found himself staring at a collection of jewellry and money and on the bottom a roughly formed note.
These are all stolen from the Rana estate, it is all earned from dishonest means. Use them if you want to or give them to charity, it really doesnt matter. BTW the car is also yours to keep. Just consider this the luckiest day in your life. signed the cat.
Rohit noticed that he was sweating profusely. Just then he noticed a police vehicle in his rearview mirror. It seemed to be heading right for him. Rana would most probably kill him if they found him with his loot. He wanted to speed away but Reena was outside with the dog. No one would believe that he hadnt robbed all this especially with his history with Rana.
The police gypsy pulled up besides his car. A very happy looking inspector got out and asked him 'Don't tell me your speeding away with some underworld don's hard earned loot'
Rohit suddenly felt all the blood draining from his face. The inspector noticed this and laughed aloud.
'Don't worry man, I was just kidding you. Tell you what I wont even ask you if you are driving drunk.' and then taking off his cap 'BTW I am inspector Pawar, need any help?'
Rohit somehow regained his composure just as Reena picked up the dog and came and stood next to him. She whispered 'Is it about the car?'
Pawar looked at the two and saw that they were a decent looking couple with a dog, a very dirty dog to boot. Most probably must've been speeding down these roads at night. Well that wasn't his lookout, he wasn't traffic police.
'Nice dog you have maam, whats his name?'
'Rex, Inspector sir'
Pawar smiled, 'Don't worry maam, in the mood I am today you could as well rob a bank and it wouldn't affect me. You aren't planning to are you?'
The inspector laughed at his own joke and then got into the gypsy. This was his lucky night.
The two of them smiled as the police vehicle speeded away.
'How do you know his name?'
'Well he's got a collar with a name tag. He's a bulldog you know, I am surprised that he is out on these streets. Maybe he is like us, trying to find his dreams. Wat say can we afford to keep him?'
It was then that Rohit realized that she did not know of the money, he also realized that she had just spoken of them as a couple. He had a lot to tell her but he would hold his tongue as he tried to capture the moment. Well there he was with a partner, a dog albeit a dirty one and money to start his.. oops their own family.
'Rohit look a falling star'
He noticed that the falling star had landing lights 'It's not a falling star dear, it's a plane.'
'Maybe one day we two will fly off to some beautiful place. What say?' She looked most beautiful standing without a care in the world gazing at the plane fly into the distance.
Just then the clock tower struck 12. Each note highlighting the fact that it was a new day. The cat guy was right, it was his luckiest day, the luckiest day of his life.
-Pranay Rao
Friday, April 07, 2006
2050 - Indian Oddessey
Scene 1 Act 1 0f 1
It is the year of 2050. The setting is the drawing room of an Indian household. Raju enters from the left entrance. His mother and father are already on stage. Mother is vacuming. Father is reading a newspaper. 'Bye dad, I'm going to Rajesh's house to play'
'Beta wait' said his mother 'Havent I told you not to go there?'
'But mum, why can't I go? He's my cousin and my friend since childhood and he's also a good student and besides I really need to get his notes for tommorows test'
'No beta, Learn to listen to your mother'
Raju turned to his father who was pretending to read the paper all the time. He tried to ignore his son's imploring glance.
'Papa. what is this? At least you tell me whats happening? I know you and Manju aunty don't talk but seriously we're friends'
'Sit down Beta, I think it's time we had this talk'
'But dear, he's too young for all this'
'No Shanti, it's better he gets to know this today before someone else tells him and after all he's almost 15 he deserves to know.'
'See Beta, there is something I've been meaning to tell you from some time and I think now is the right time. Why don't you sit down this is going to take some time'
Raju reluctantly sat down. He really hated these lecture sessions. But somehow his dad seemed a little serious and he knew better than to antagonise him in such a mood.
'Beta, Rajesh is an NBC.' Raju's mom lets out a gasp as she leaves the room.
'Whats that dad?' ' NBC, beta stands for non backward castes.'
'So?'
'See let me finish. These are the people who have no reservation in schools, colleges, iits ,iims, government jobs.'
'I don't understand dad.'
'See beta that there are somethings that your history book hasn't taught you, you see.....'
'Thats an understatement dad, our history book ends after independence, can't believe that all these years.....'
'Beta, let me finish this first. You see during the 90s, even before I was born there was a prime minister who needed to get votes badly since it was quite possible that he would lose his power. So he thought that he would divide the country by having reservations for people belonging to backward castes. These were people who were ill treated by the upper castes. So to make up for that he decided to give them a quota.'
'quota?'
'Well seats were reserved for the people of these castes. So they had some seats in each college.'
'But wouldnt that be bad since all of them would try for the same seats.'
'No beta, they could also apply for the general category.'
'thats so funny, which means the good students would get through general and the bad ones through reservation.'
'See, it happened many years back and thats not the point of this conversation. Now keep quiet and let me finish'
'Well it happened that many students got angry, apparently some fool even burned himself'
'and the rule was taken back?'
'Of course not. Infact it was extended to all colleges and universities. Well slowly and surely reservations were increased in all colleges. Infact your aunty had one tough time getting into engineering.'
'But you were always brilliant naa dad? Is that why she doesn't speak to us any longer,huh?'
'Er, youre getting ahead of the story. Well it happened that in 2006 another government in order to get more votes increased the reservation at the iits and iims to include OBC students.'
'But dad that would have made it even more difficult for you. I bet you must have opposed the law.'
'Well beta we tried or rather our seniors tried but we couldn't do anything. A lot of people opposed it but nothing really happened. About half of the seats were then reserved for them'
'And they could still apply in general quota'
'Yes'
'That was foolish, then I guess the OBC's mustve really become big people naa?'
'That was the problem beta. The OBC's really werent given any special opportunities during their basic education so the general category students had to really slog to get into these colleges and there was a huge disparity between them and the OBCs. They got the opportunities at too late a stage in their life.'
'So the rule was scrapped?'
'Actually no. What happened was many people seeing that it was really difficult to get in through the general category made OBC certificates.'
'Wats dat?
'They were certificates made to get admission to these places, to know who's OBC or not?'
'Yaa dats what I want to know, How do you know who's who?'
'Well there were ways and means to find out. Anyway there were also people who knew that they must balance the disparity and made OBC certificates'
'These were OBCs?'
'No'
'Then wasn't it wrong?'
'Well they had to get justice'
'Dad, whats wrong is wrong. Those people at least had some reason to get seats, these people just took advantage. How could they ever live with their conscience.
'uh anyway people from other castes soon began to ask for their reservation and soon we had OOBCs (other other backward castes), DCs (depressed castes) , ODCs (other depressed castes), etc etc.. So you see the governments in the decades began to give reservation to other people and reservations kept increasing.'
'To how much'
'Well the last revision in 2047 to celebrate our independence increased reservation to 85%.'
'So the general category have only 15%'
'Well actually there is there are some other quotas, but yes they get around 13.5% seats'
'But if it couldn't help them in 100 years, what good will it do now?'
'Young man, you have no idea of the suffering these people went through?'
'So now what happens to the upper castes?'
Well the upper castes or the NBCs get those 13.5% seats'
'Which is open to others?'
'Well frankly most castes are covered by the reservations except maybe a few'
Shanti enters the room and joins her husband on the sofa.
'So whats that got to do with Rajesh?'
'Well were OBCs?'
'We are? Cool, How come no one told me?'
'Yes we are and Rajesh is not'
'Why not?'
'Well his mother married a NBC and was ostracized from the family. Which is why we don't speak to her'
'Dad Rajesh is such a brilliant student that he could get into an IIT and IIM on his own merit. Infact he keeps telling that he will be an IIT-IIMite like you.'
'Beta I thought you were old enough to understand such things if they were explained to you, but I am really disappointed. Hand me your Comlink and get into your bedroom. No hologram for you till you stop talking to that Rajesh boy'
'Shanti, its that Manju who plants all these idealistic thoughts in his mind, its a good thing we finally stopped him from going there'
Shanti gets up from the adjacent sofa. She seems a little affected by the entire thing.
'Don't you think we should tell him'
'No way!! What do I tell him?' There was a pause during which Shanti wiped the sweat off her husband's brow.
'Do I tell him that the father he so idolizes, that he so respects got though IIT and IIM with a fake OBC certificate. How will I ever face him'
'But dear, he's bound to know when his admissions are due that we have prepared an OBC certificate for him too and someday someone might actually tell him that he isn't one'
'Well there are still 3 years to go and we are fighting towards getting our caste included into YOBCs.'
'Whats that?'
'Yet other backward castes, they'll include many castes which were not included in ODCs'
'But what about the certificate we got made for him?'
'I guess that will have to be destroyed'
'So that means hell get a good education and legally'
'Yes'
'But then isn't Rajesh eligible too?'
'Yes, but then he has his mother'
'Yaa I really can't believe someone who believes in hardwork and ability in this age and time?'
Somehow he detected a hint of sarcasm in Shanti's voice but let it go. She got back to her housework while he got back to his paper.
'Shanti, did you read the editorial. Just listen to this the joker says says' I do believe it is time to base the reservations on the basis of the census and give equal opportunity to the NBCs' Equal opportunity? what about all the suffering we went through?'
Shanti was oddly silent, probably she hadn't heard his remark
He picked up the paper and muttered under his breath 'Reservation for NBCs, I tell you one day this country will go to the dogs.'
curtain closes
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The inquisition
She felt sweat trickle down her eyebrow, down her back. the room was air conditioned and yet felt clammy. Her heartbeat was loud, so loud that it drowned the laugh of the young girl on her right. How someone so innocent could do something this dastardly was beyond her. She blinked her eyes, another place and time, she would have bit on her lower lip to avoid crying. The light from the lamp hit her eyes again and they burned. Yet she could not keep them closed any longer. It was 3 days since this torture had begun. She knew not how she could subject herself to such torture and she knew not how someone could be so cold hearted. As if on cue, his face appeared in front of the light. She knew his face like the back of her hand and yet he wore that mask as if it would somehow help attone for this suffering he so willingly doled out. She looked into those deep brown eyes which she had so trusted. No one would have ever guessed how sinister was the mind behind those innocent looking glasses. She still remembered how he had so easily trapped her, her gullibility had once again gotten the better of her. She closed her eyes and heard that dull drone which caused the blood vessels in her head to throb. He would never break her spirit, she was vulnerable yet strong, she was not going to..... 'Mrs. Gupta,... Mrs Gupta' She opened her eyes. There he was. The mask had slipped down and he was taking off his rubber gloves smothered in blood, destroying the last vestiges of evidence. 'Mrs.Gupta,' There it was, the twisting of the neck in a wierdly Psycopathic way. With that he looked at his assistant and smiled. She realized that it was only her presence which kept them from putting their heads back and laughing in the most maniacal manner. 'It took me six hours but I believe you are as good as new. I realize that I told you this was going to be just another filling, but your root canal is finally over.'
Monday, January 30, 2006
The legend of Chubby Pandey - A children's story
Disclaimer: The characters in this story bear no resemblance to any person living or dead. Any resemblance is purely incidental. Any action (physical or otherwise) against the author shall be dealt with by legal action.
It was the year of 1857, in the country of cocoa land. Milk chocolate country (MCC) had taken over cocoa land. MCC was ruled by a queen famed for her beauty and cullinary skills. Chubby Pandey, a cook in the queens kitchen was most aghast when he discovered that the new pellets for the chocolate cake were to be made of white chocolate and not dark chocolate, something he so desired. The ancient rulers of the land were the Peshwas, a direct descendant of whom was PRji Rao Peshwa. Chubby Pandey prostrated before the Peshwa who enjoyed people making a fool of themselves in this way. Anyway Chubby complained to the Peshwa about the land bein full of dark chocolate and the fact that he wasn't gettin any (chocolate guys, plz this is a children's story). Anyway PRji contacted his cook Mankie Tope who did nothin but sleep all day. PRji was anyway bored of readin commando comics the whole day n for want of anything better decided to declare war on MCC. Since Mankie couldn't find his ladle in the mess he called his kitchen, it was decided that time would be bought through a strategic alliance with the emperor of Cherry land.
The emperor sent forth his son and fiercest cook, Chetta Shah Suffer to the battleground which would be the grand kitchen of the palace at Caulicut a small port town in Karela land. Chetta having travelled the length and breadth of this land on his tricycle was most confident of victory. The battle started with Chetts unleashing ware after ware of his most delicious cuisine. But the queens cook, mysteriously hidden behind a mask outdid Chetta time and again. By this time Mankie retrieved his ladle from his kitchen which was a mess (which is how the word mess originated) and joined Chett's in all out war.
But try as they did , they were no match for the skill and expertise of the queen's cook. Time and again they were put at the mercy of the cook's ladle till Chetts finally took out his tricycle, put mankie on the back seat and they rode into the sunset.
It all came down to Chubby Pandey. as a sign of his faith in Chubby, the Peshwa pulled Chubby's cheeks and appointed him as his new general. Henceforth he would be known as Cheeku Chubby Pandey, and as a token of respect awarded him the land of Googly woogly woo.
Chubby took his place and then began the battle in earnest. The queens cook decided to start with Vindaloo (which is a goan delicacy). Anywayz Chubby soon had the measure of his opponent and with speedy hands began making the thick paste which was his delicacy. The chefs sliced and diced to within an inch of victory but at the end there was really nothing to differentiate them. The queen of MCC and PRji Peshwa who by then were pretty much in sync judged the dishes to be on par. Thus ended the first battle immortalised in history as the 'Battle of Vindaloo'.
The next morning began with apple pie from the queens side and Black forest cake on the Peshwa's. Renewed with vigour and dark chocolate, chubby seemed to be in top form. The queens cook meanwhile seemed too much engrossed in Chubby to focus on cooking. Chubby popped his cake into the oven pre-heated at the right temperature a minute before the queens cook. The crowd waited with bated breath for the oven timer to ring. As the minutes passed by so did the tension. Just then both the timers rang simultaneously. Chubby's cake was looking nice and round like him but the queens cook had mistimed the cooking. Chubby most noble in victory offered his opponent a piece of his cake. The cook removed the mask as the crowd gasped. It was the princess of Milkshake country . She thrust forth her hand and took the cake.
It was luv at first bite. She looked deeply into Chubby's rolly polly face which had turned into a deep shade of crimson. The crowd looked around to see the judges decision to find out that PRji Peshwa and the queen had slipped out for a Pizza.
The story did not end there. Peace was brought on by the marriage of PRji to the queen who was a damn good cook, so he lived happily ever after. While Chubby and the princess got their own little bakery in Googly woogly city where they lived happily ever after. As for the people they were most happy to eat n sleep the whole day and they all lived happily ever after.
Moral of the story: ' Cheeks ho to Cheeku Chubby Pandey jaise, warna naa ho'
It was the year of 1857, in the country of cocoa land. Milk chocolate country (MCC) had taken over cocoa land. MCC was ruled by a queen famed for her beauty and cullinary skills. Chubby Pandey, a cook in the queens kitchen was most aghast when he discovered that the new pellets for the chocolate cake were to be made of white chocolate and not dark chocolate, something he so desired. The ancient rulers of the land were the Peshwas, a direct descendant of whom was PRji Rao Peshwa. Chubby Pandey prostrated before the Peshwa who enjoyed people making a fool of themselves in this way. Anyway Chubby complained to the Peshwa about the land bein full of dark chocolate and the fact that he wasn't gettin any (chocolate guys, plz this is a children's story). Anyway PRji contacted his cook Mankie Tope who did nothin but sleep all day. PRji was anyway bored of readin commando comics the whole day n for want of anything better decided to declare war on MCC. Since Mankie couldn't find his ladle in the mess he called his kitchen, it was decided that time would be bought through a strategic alliance with the emperor of Cherry land.
The emperor sent forth his son and fiercest cook, Chetta Shah Suffer to the battleground which would be the grand kitchen of the palace at Caulicut a small port town in Karela land. Chetta having travelled the length and breadth of this land on his tricycle was most confident of victory. The battle started with Chetts unleashing ware after ware of his most delicious cuisine. But the queens cook, mysteriously hidden behind a mask outdid Chetta time and again. By this time Mankie retrieved his ladle from his kitchen which was a mess (which is how the word mess originated) and joined Chett's in all out war.
But try as they did , they were no match for the skill and expertise of the queen's cook. Time and again they were put at the mercy of the cook's ladle till Chetts finally took out his tricycle, put mankie on the back seat and they rode into the sunset.
It all came down to Chubby Pandey. as a sign of his faith in Chubby, the Peshwa pulled Chubby's cheeks and appointed him as his new general. Henceforth he would be known as Cheeku Chubby Pandey, and as a token of respect awarded him the land of Googly woogly woo.
Chubby took his place and then began the battle in earnest. The queens cook decided to start with Vindaloo (which is a goan delicacy). Anywayz Chubby soon had the measure of his opponent and with speedy hands began making the thick paste which was his delicacy. The chefs sliced and diced to within an inch of victory but at the end there was really nothing to differentiate them. The queen of MCC and PRji Peshwa who by then were pretty much in sync judged the dishes to be on par. Thus ended the first battle immortalised in history as the 'Battle of Vindaloo'.
The next morning began with apple pie from the queens side and Black forest cake on the Peshwa's. Renewed with vigour and dark chocolate, chubby seemed to be in top form. The queens cook meanwhile seemed too much engrossed in Chubby to focus on cooking. Chubby popped his cake into the oven pre-heated at the right temperature a minute before the queens cook. The crowd waited with bated breath for the oven timer to ring. As the minutes passed by so did the tension. Just then both the timers rang simultaneously. Chubby's cake was looking nice and round like him but the queens cook had mistimed the cooking. Chubby most noble in victory offered his opponent a piece of his cake. The cook removed the mask as the crowd gasped. It was the princess of Milkshake country . She thrust forth her hand and took the cake.
It was luv at first bite. She looked deeply into Chubby's rolly polly face which had turned into a deep shade of crimson. The crowd looked around to see the judges decision to find out that PRji Peshwa and the queen had slipped out for a Pizza.
The story did not end there. Peace was brought on by the marriage of PRji to the queen who was a damn good cook, so he lived happily ever after. While Chubby and the princess got their own little bakery in Googly woogly city where they lived happily ever after. As for the people they were most happy to eat n sleep the whole day and they all lived happily ever after.
Moral of the story: ' Cheeks ho to Cheeku Chubby Pandey jaise, warna naa ho'
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